


Photograph

by orphan_account



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Cas is gone, Cas loves Dean, Dean Loves Cas, Dean is a sad mess, Dean is hurting, M/M, One Shot, Open Ending, Sort Of, but is he?, prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-22
Updated: 2020-12-22
Packaged: 2021-03-10 23:13:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,965
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28235238
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: The damn photograph, that was all that could help Dean through this hell he called life.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Kudos: 12





	Photograph

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, I hope you enjoy this story! Kudos and Comments are always appreciated, and thank you for reading!

Dean felt the way his hands started to shake, felt the way that his breath caught in his throat. The anxiety was crushing him like a weight, constricting him like a vice. He steadies his hands on the rail of the stairwell, crushing it, almost, in his grip. He shut his eyes, clenching his jaw, and took deep, shaky breaths.

He had been without Cas for days now, something he wasn’t ever going to come to terms with, something that he doesn’t think he’d ever get over.

He pulled his hands away from the railing slowly, after getting his breathing in check. He steadied his hands enough to pull out his wallet from his suit pant pocket, opening up the flaps. He sat down on the step, fanning his legs out in front of him, pulling out the one thing in his wallet that would always, always, bring him comfort.

The photograph.

It was a photograph of Cas, a reminder of the man he loved. The man he vowed to live till death did them part, beyond that, too.

It was a picture of Cas, the sun angling and hitting him just right, his bright blue eyes, even brighter than before, his skin tanned, toned, and his smile wide. It was the one picture Dean had of Cas that would travel with him, wherever he went. A reminder of him, of what he looked like, happy, in love.

Dean stared at the photo, being thrown back into that day. Oh, the day was such a wonderful one, one of Dean’s best memories if he were to say so himself.

The day had started out, surprisingly, at the grocery store…..

_Dean pushed the cart up and down the aisles of the store, the squeak of the wheel loud enough to irk him to no end. He had sighed, telling Cas to go and get a new one, but his boyfriend was already distracted, already looking off to find their groceries. Dean knew he could go back and get a new one himself, but, in all honesty, he really didn’t feel like it now. Something about the look on Cas’s face was something he didn’t want to miss._

_He found Cas in the aisle with the honey, dripping a drop onto his fingers, trying each one. Dean hurried over, taking the jar gently from him and capping the top shut again. He laughed softly, shaking his head._

_“You don’t open these until you get home, or unless you’re going to pay for it.” Dean said, smiling softly at Cas._

_Cas blushed a little, nodding._

_He still didn’t understand social cues, or the norms, but, Dean was getting there, teaching him. They both returned to the cart, walking side by side, Cas running his hands over various items on the shelves. Dean watched him, smiling softly, putting items they needed into the cart._

_Their trip lasted about forty-five minutes, Dean having to put some of Cas’s items back since they didn’t need them, or they were a little too expensive for Dean to afford._

_They checked out eventually, Cas bagging the items while Dean scanned and paid. He took the receipt from the machine once it printed, throwing it into one of the bags at random, carrying two on each hand. Cas carried one on each hand, and the two of them made their way to the impala together. Dean set down one set of bags to grab the keys, unlock the trunk, and unload. He looked over to tell Cas to start unloading, but his breath caught in his throat._

_The sun shined just right, creating a halo over Cas’s head (ironic), his skin tanning, looking sun-kissed, his smile wide, staring at bees._

_Dean pulled out his phone quickly, Cas’s eyes snapping to him, but his smile never dimming. Dean clicked on the camera, snapping the photo quickly, relishing in the feeling of contentedness surrounding them._

_Dean put his phone back in his pocket, unloading all the bags while Cas watched the bees. He’s always had a bee fixation, but Dean didn’t mind. He thought it was cute, honestly._

_He finished unloading the bags into the truck, slamming it shut (but not too hard) and locked it back up again. He looked over at Cas who had his arms crossed against his chest, staring up at the beehive. Dean smiled softly, walking up behind him and wrapping his arms around his waist, hands settling on his hips._

_He kissed the side of his neck softly, Cas laughing softly, but tilting his head to the side. Dean smiled against the skin, kissing it one more time before pulling away, chin resting atop his shoulder._

_“Let’s go home, baby.” He said softly, Cas nodding._

_So, they went._

_\------------------------------_

_It wasn’t until later, much later, when Cas was in Dean’s bedroom, that Dean decided to go and print the photo. He made up the excuse of wanting a midnight snack, but really, he wanted to go print the photo._

_He went into the main room, part of where the library was, and hooked his phone up. He selected the photo, and put in the photo paper into the printer, and hit the ‘print’ button._

_When the photo finally came through, Dean cropped it a little, making sure the most important part was still there, and that he was able to carry it around with him. He waited for the ink to dry, before putting it in his wallet, keeping it safe and sound._

_He made his way back to Cas for the night, slipping the door shut and smiling at Cas softly. Cas smiled back, in his pajamas._

_Dean never understood that though, since Cas didn’t need to sleep, as angels never did. But, Cas had confessed that this made him feel closer to Dean, human, like him. Dean couldn’t tell the guy no, couldn’t tell him that he didn’t need to do it. Besides, it made Dean feel special, made his heart soar._

_He changed out of his usual attire, slipping into some boxers and a Henley, slipping into bed with Cas, pulling Cas into a laying position. He wrapped his arms around his waist, pulling him closer, more against his chest, resting his face between Cas’s shoulder blades, feeling the slight bulge of the wings there, even if invisible._

_“Cas?” He asked softly._

_“Yes, Dean.” Cas responded in kind._

_“Can I see your wings, one day?” There was a low hum, a rustling of limbs in to bed._

_“One day, Dean, yes… just, not today.” Cas said. Dean nodded, satisfied with the answer._

_He kissed the exposed skin of Cas’s neck, threading their fingers together, laying his head to rest on his pillow._

_“Night, baby. I love you.”_

_“Goodnight, Dean. I love you too.”_

_And he was out like a light._

_\--------------------------------------_

Dean pulled himself out of the memory, seeing that there was a small tear stain sitting on the corner. He hadn’t realized that he started crying, but he was.

He wiped the tear off of the photo, putting it gently back into its holder, stuffing the wallet back into his pocket. He wiped at his eyes, hearing Sam’s voice travel in through the door. He pulled himself back together, pulling himself up using the rail, and straightening his suit. He cleared his throat, making his way down to the landing, plastering on a fake smile for the guests in the home.

“Thank you so much for your time, Mr. and Mrs. Delaney. We will be in touch.” Sam said, shaking both of their hands, Dean giving them a salute, heading back to the car with Sam.

He sniffed once more, Sam looking at him, an ounce of pity coursing through his eyes. Dean shook his head, giving warning to Sam, telling him, without words, he didn’t want to talk about this. Ever.

So, Sam nodded, and got into the car without a word. Dean followed suit a moment later, starting the car, and heading off towards their home.

Man oh man, this was gonna be a rough rest of the day, he could tell.

\--------------------------------------

That night, laying in his empty bed, he pulled out the photo again, staring at it, fraying with the edges.

“Hey, Cas… I, uh… well. I miss you. So, so much. Today, today it hit hard. It hit hard that… that you weren’t here, that you weren’t gonna be waiting for me in bed… and I just… just kinda broke down today. It sucked, but… but the memory… it helped, a little. Remembering your smile, your laugh… everything… I love you, so, so much, baby boy. You have no idea… Sleep good, wherever you are, baby.” Dean held the photo against his chest, reaching with his hand and turning the lamp out.

He knows he’s not going to get a wink of sleep tonight.

\----------------------------------

He was right, being up in the morning at six thirty three. He sat up slowly, looking over at the cold, empty spot right next to the bed. He looked away when it became a little too hard to see, steeling himself, and pulling himself out of bed.

He went to the bathroom across the hall, shutting and locking the door, turning on the shower, waiting for it to heat up. He looked at himself in the mirror, seeing that his eyes were sunken in just a tad, that his cheek bones had too.

He had really lost himself after Cas.

He looked away, pulling off his pajamas, and stepping under the spray, letting the water run over him. He slowly showered, slowly cleaned himself off. He had been neglecting his care as of late, and knows he needs to get back on it. Cas would’ve wanted him to, anyways.

So, he did. He took the time to properly take care of himself, to shower, and to do his whole routine.

He felt semi human again, just for a bit.

But, now? Now he had to face reality. The real world. The big bubble, not his little bubble inside of his bathroom.

He sighed softly, grabbing the towel from off the rack, and drying off as quick as he could.

He had some work to do with this case, and he wanted to finish it quickly.

\-------------------------------

He worked on the laptop for most of the day, his fingers itching to grab that damn photograph, look at it, study it again and again, over and over.

Just to see Cas’s face, help him get through this problem.

It would just be… so much easier if Cas was here with him.

He needed his boyfriend back, needed him to come and kiss him and laugh with him and just… be.

He wanted to marry Cas. They had already said some vows, but Dean wanted to make it legal, with marriage.

He wanted to marry Cas.

Oh, how he wanted. A wedding, all of their family and friends there, together, celebrating the union between the two. Make Cas an official Winchester. Let him take Dean’s last name. Oh, he wanted so badly to. But he knew, now, he couldn’t have it. Not really. He closed his eyes at the thought, though. A small smile graced his face, the imagine of Cas in a tux without the trench coat, without everything else.

It would’ve been perfect.

He was pulled out of his thoughts by a persistent knocking on the door, three loud bangs, over and over, ten second intervals apart.

“I’m coming, I’m coming! Hold on!” He yelled to the door, the knocking ceasing.

He sighed softly, making his way up the stairs, arm reaching out to grab the handle. He unlocked the deadbolt, turning the knob, and pulling the door open. What he saw made his heart drop into his stomach.

“Hello, Dean.”


End file.
